pure joy

I confess.  I think this is the most challenging season I've experienced as a mother.  Three little people.  Different personalities, different learning styles, different stages, different needs, and everyone has needs.  Lots of needs.  And I still have needs!  :)

When Graham and Reece were in school, I could always look forward to Millie's naptime for refreshment.  A cup of coffee. Chores done in silence, or maybe while listening to an encouraging podcast.  A few minutes in the scriptures.  Quiet.  Sweet silence.  As rare as these moments were before, they are now close to non-existent.  This is due, in part, to the ages of our children.  It is also due {mostly} to the fact that the bulk of Graham's schooling must be done during Millie's naptime, to lessen the distractions for both of us.

Another thing-homeschooling is HARD. I see other mothers paint this picture of one big blissfully happy family...reading classic literature together, planting gardens together, laughing together, baking bread together (with freshly-milled, organic wheat, of course).  This picture is not our reality in any way.  I am daily dying to myself.  My selfish desires to surf online for a few minutes, eat a bite of chocolate without anyone knowing and begging for some (that wrapper can be heard for miles!), or just to enjoy having an uninterrupted thought, or a bathroom break-alone...this is not my reality in this season.  A season...this is a season!  Then the mom guilt....this is such a short season!  I need to enjoy this, take more pictures!   write that cute saying down!  smile and laugh with my children more!  get in the floor and play more!  teach them God's word more!  and on. and on. and on.  Throw in some kid attitude and I might. just. lose. it.  (oh wait, i have-lost it!)  ugh.  It's been a rough week.

Lately the enemy's whispers have turned into accusations, filling my heart with guilt and shame for everything I don't do.  So, to combat these lies...I'm putting on the armor of God, fighting these lies with the  sword of the spirit (GOD's word).   (Ephesians 6:10-18) So here I go:

GOD has ordained me to be the mother to these children.  All of their days were planned and ordained by GOD before one of them came to be!  (Psalm 139:16)

GOD made each child with a special purpose.  GOD'S ways are not my ways, they are higher than mine.  When I turn to the LORD he will have mercy on me.

GOD has plans to prosper me and not to harm me (or them), plans to give us hope and a future!  When we seek him with all our hearts, we will find Him!  He is right here!  (Jeremiah 29:11-12) 

This is spiritual battle, a war waged by the enemy for our hearts and the hearts of our children.  But I do not need to fear!  I will be still and watch the LORD rescue us.  Be still!  The Lord himself will fight for us.  BE CALM.  (Exodus 14)

Contentment, strength and courage can be mine because GOD has promised to never leave me or forsake me!  (Hebrews 13:5, Deuteronomy 31:6) 

When I feel like freaking out, ready to give up, I will choose to TRUST GOD.  When I trust God steadfastly, He will keep me in perfect peace (even when my house is noisy chaos!)  :)  (Isaiah 26)
  
As I live in God, my love will grow more perfect for Dan and our children.  Fear and love cannot co-exist.  Where God's love is, fear is gone.  LIVE IN GOD.  ABIDE IN GOD.  GOD IS LOVE.  (I John 4:16-19)

If I do nothing but love my children and teach them God's word, I've done well.  God's word will never return empty.  It will accomplish what HE desires, and achieve His purposes.  (Isaiah 55)

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² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

 ⁹ Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position.¹⁰ But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. ¹¹ For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

 ¹² Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

 ¹³ When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; ¹⁴ but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. ¹⁵ Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

 ¹⁶ Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ¹⁸ He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

{sigh}  Thank you, Lord.

ash wednesday

It's Ash Wednesday.  I'm embracing the ashes, a symbol of repentance of sin. Sin leads to death.  Without the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, I am physically and spiritually dead.  The ashes are a symbol, not at all necessary for holiness or relationship with God in Jesus Christ.  The Christian calendar year and liturgical calendar are still fairly new to me.  With each year, I learn a little more, embrace these seasons more wholeheartedly.  These seasons are healing.  In observing them, they become intentional opportunities to open my heart to for the Lord to revive areas that need healing and wholeness.

Source: s258.photobucket.com via Sarah on Pinterest

The season of lent is becoming my favorite time of year!  These forty days, I choose to intentionally repent, reflect, worship and be renewed by the Holy Spirit.  One way I'm intending to lean in to hear his voice more clearly is by choosing not to read blogs.  This is something that I really enjoy ...so much inspiration and encouragement out there in blog-land!)  Instead, I will replace the time spent on reading blogs with more time reading scripture, receiving hope, instruction and  encouragement from the Lord.  To God be the glory!

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. 

Psalms 51:10

a typical morning...

...looks something like this:  stuff all over the vanity (and floor), Millie freshly clean because she stripped down (without warning) to get in the shower with daddy.  Reece decides a shower might be good too (bonus: clothing change), so she goes in after daddy and Millie.  Then we remember that Graham hasn't bathed in almost a week and has visible wax in his ears...so we drag encourage him into the bathroom to take care of personal hygiene.  Then it's my turn.  Super-duper quick shower. When was the last time I shaved above my knees anyway?)  Blow-dry my hair almost dry and fix it in my new favorite way, a little make-up and dig through my closet hoping that I'll find one thing that might match.  YES!  Last one.  Throw in a load of laundry (because I've now exhausted all of my options) and move on to breakfast.  Ezekiel bread toast and yogurt.  Kiss Dan goodbye, say a prayer and take a deep breath.  Our day has begun.

This is the day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it!  Psalm 118:24

LOVE

This year, I tried some new ideas for Valentine's day fun!  Thank you very much, Pinterest.   

Heart-shaped hard-boiled eggs...these were a hit!  Graham said he thinks we should have these EVERY Valentine's day;  :)  I agree!  Super easy and cute.

I wanted to add this to the bottom because they were actually dinner, but I'm having trouble with that.  First,  I poured a little batter into a sauce cup.  Then I  added a couple drops of pink food coloring, drew it up into a medicine dropper,  and made the "heart" in the waffle iron base.  I let it sit for a 10 seconds or so, to firm up and then added the plain batter, as usual.  Voila!  Valentine's waffles!  These were a big hit.  

We emailed dear friends and family members this pic as a valentine this morning.

A special valentine for my love...waiting in the sock drawer for his discovery, ha!

Special love notes for the kids when they woke up this morning.

Graham:  You are handsome, You are a great dancer, You ROCK, We love you!!, You rock at angry birds, You are so funny, You are an excellent reader, You have interesting ideas

Reece:  We love you!!, You are smart, You have a pretty singing voice, You have a beautiful smile, We love to laugh with you, You have a special way with animals, You are a hardworking girl, You are an awesome helper!

Millie:  You are learning to use the potty, You have cute dimples :), Your kisses are so sweet,  You are a fast runner, You make us smile, You are a great sleeper, We love you!!, You are a funny girl

I love how these turned out.  I plan to bring them out every year.  Target dollar section mailboxes, glued to wooden spray-painted candlesticks from Salvation Army.  Total cost:  $5!  The kids have really enjoyed surprising each other with  little Valentine cards over the last two weeks.     

Everybody pitched in on this little project.  Tissue paper hearts:  wrap tissue squares around  the pencil eraser, dip in glue, and press onto heart, repeat...again and again!  

Our photo wall all dolled up for V-day!   Gobstoppers in the mason jars.  Handmade Valentine's for each family member from Reece.  Millie's is covered in dried oatmeal, she loved it so much!  :)